Your iPad, Your Child and Your Restrictions

By on June 23, 2011 in iPad

Thanks to you, you wonderful person you, my family was able to get an iPad for our family recently via your donations and my boys have been in heaven ever since.

It didn’t take long to realize that there would be a few things that I’d rather my boys couldn’t do with it though so… I took to the information highway to find out how to set some restrictions, also a few handy tips on easier/faster ways to do things.

As a fellow parent of a child with Autism, if you have an iPad or are thinking about getting once, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned.

Restrictions

If your children are anything like mine, then “pressing” an icon sometimes results in a very long press, which on an iPad, can be disastrous. Long pressing on the icons enables the ability to move and even delete programs completely. Luckily the app store allows you to retrieve apps again without having to pay again but still, what a pain. Especially if a lot of things are removed and you are left wondering what all is now lost.

Another painful feature is the “in app purchase” feature which developers like to use so much. That’s where they give you an app that does some nice things, but to do all of the nice things, you have to make a purchase from within the app. Kids seem to find these with relative ease.

With “Restrictions”, you can stop that from happening.

If you go to the main screen, you should see an icon called “Settings”, this is where you want to go first: 

This icon will take you to a screen that looks like this.

iPad Settings

Click for full size

In the menu along the left, you need to find the “General” menu item. This holds a lot of information but also hides away the “Restriction” options that you’ll need.

There is also some other handy stuff, such as setting a “Password Lock” and “Lock Rotation” if you want it to stop flipping around when your child moves it.

The first time you press on “Restrictions”, it will ask you to enter a 4 digit passcode which is essentially a lock. This prevents little fingers from finding it and making changes to it. Some children are clever enough to find this and may wish to get around the restrictions you set. The passcode ensures that does not happen.

iPad Restrictions Passcode

Click for full size

 

So set a passcode, something you won’t forget… and get yourself into the restrictions area. This is an area that you’ll want to become intimately familiar. For it’s in here that you can make it so that apps can not be deleted, in app purchases can not be made and more.

iPad Restrictions

Click for full size

If you take a look at this image, you can see all of the options available but more so than that, take note of the top two options.

I’ve heard from one parent who said that their child discovered how to view Youtube videos and became obsessed with it. Their child would no longer do the apps, preferring instead to go straight to Youtube to watch their favourite videos.

Using the Restrictions page, you can now turn off Youtube so that the icon no longer appears on the screen.

** Youtube will still work though! If you truly want to prevent a child from watching Youtube videos, you will have to disable Safari as well or else they can just browse to a video, press on it and have it load from the browser.

A few tips

So you’ve locked down a few things so that your child is no longer installing, purchasing, removing or using apps that you don’t want them to. Now it’s time for you to learn a few things on the iPad that you may use yourself.

  • Quick way to get an apostrophe: That key that has an exclamation mark (!) and comma (,) under it actually also gives you an apostrophe (‘) if you press on it for a second. Press and hold that key down and the apostrophe appears.
  • Quick way to get quotation marks: The same as the apostrophe tip above, this time, press and hold the button with the question mark (?) and period (.).
  • Screen shots (picture of the screen): ever have your child do something amazing that you want to share and there’s no way to save what is on the screen? Well, now you can. Press and hold the power button at the top (don’t let go!) and then press the main button on the front of the iPad (you know, the round one with the square in it that does everything)… if you’ve done it right, the screen will flash white and you’ll hear a camera sound. Check your “Saved Pictures” album and you’ll find your screenshot!
  • How do you close programs?: That round button with the square in it has a hidden feature, if you double press it (press it two times quickly), a little hidden panel will show up at the bottom of the display which shows you all of your running programs. Press the red ‘X’ in the corner to close the program, or press on the icon to switch to it.

There’s a lot more to find and discover but these things should help you and your child to have a good learning experience with your iPad.

If you have any tips, please feel free to share them in the comments. We’re all here to help out each other and make the iPad experience as beneficial for our children as possible.

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When your autistic child says to you “Can I talk to you about feelings?”

By on June 22, 2011 in Autism

A couple of days ago, my wife and youngest child were out of town, leaving Cameron and I to play video games and spoil ourselves with treats.

Three Little PigsI’m not sure if it’s just because it was the two of us or if he was just in the mood for it but at a completely random point in the day, he decided to tell me about the three little pigs and the big bad wolf. While telling me the story, he suddenly stopped and said “Dad? Can I talk to you about the pigs feelings?”

If you have a loved one with Autism, you can imagine how off guard this caught me.

Luckily, I didn’t have to do a lot of talking, he took over. He explained to me how mad the pigs would be, he explained to me which ones would be happy.

My first thought is on how proud of him I am. That he’s working so hard to understand the feelings of others… more so, feelings of three little pigs who, after all these years of being in this story, no one has ever stopped to think about their feelings. He’s trying to understand, he’s trying to know why.

The more thought I put into it though, I begin to realize what a true testament this is to his teachers at his school as well as to my wife, his mother. While it is true that he’d never reach this point unless he wanted to and was ready to… it’s also true that he wouldn’t be acquiring the abilities nor desires to reach these milestones if it wasn’t for the hard work of those who work so closely with him.

If you know my story at all, you know that my family picked up and lost virtually everything to move here so that he could be at this school… and in all he does, I know we made the right choice. But in little moments like this one… where he completely catches me off guard… I know that it was the best choice we have or could have ever made.

To my wife Natalie and to the wonderful women at Cameron’s school that are doing so very well with him, thank you so very much.

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A father’s day poem, from father to son

By on June 17, 2011 in Autism

CameronNot puzzle, nor piece within
My son is bone and blood and skin
Though he cannot stand the light
In him his brilliance shines so bright
He is himself, so rare, so true
Unlike others yet mirror too
In him I see, I could not before
A new spectrum of life, a new way to soar
He showed me a difference, a new way to see
He taught me acceptance, a new way to be
The son became the father, this lesson I have learned
For he taught me that compassion need never to be earned
And on his birth, my life of fatherhood began
But as he lives and as I grow, I learn to be a man
For who I am and all I know, is reflected through a prism
He wouldn’t be, or I you see, were it not for his autism.

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Autism Understanding and Acceptance – in Video Form

By on June 16, 2011 in Autism

Sometimes a blog post just can’t properly convey how a conversation would go, so I decided to put together this little video as an example conversation between two parents.

I’m quite happy with how it turned out and hope to make some more soon. It’s less than 4 minutes, I hope you like it.

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Integration – Why is it needed and why is it so hard?

By on June 15, 2011 in Autism

When I stop to think about it, Cameron really does have quite the support network now. My wife and I do our best but now he also has his teachers and therapists helping and then there’s also family and friends that have done so well at taking the time to learn and understand him too. It’s very little wonder that he’s been doing so well with so many great people giving him the guidance he needs.

But yesterday, at the IEP meeting with his school, there was one area of his development that we all realize he is ready for, that he needs help with and while the school is doing a good job of coming up with a plan on how to accomplish it, I quickly began to realize that it’s entirely dependant on Cameron himself and an entirely new group of people…. the other children at his school.

Why is it needed?

Cameron would do well and excel very rapidly were he to stay confined to his classroom where he has his friends and teachers that he knows so well. A comfortable setting and a set routine. He’s responded so very well to this and has reached many grade 1 milestones in his education before he even reaches grade 1. I’m proud of him, but now he’s ready to be pushed out of his comfort zone.

Eventually everyone leaves elementary school. High school is a scary place. The work force is even scarier than that.

There is a very real danger that if he becomes too dependant on his comfort zone, not only will he no longer excel once removed from it but he could regress completely… something akin to a nervous breakdown.

integrationIntegration is the key to helping him to keep that comfort zone as a fall back, should he need it, but also prevent him from becoming dependant on it because it simply won’t always be there.

If you read my blog, you know that we uprooted our family, sold our house and moved to find the school that he attends now. It’s because they have a wonderful Autism program integrated right into the school which means that, while a regular every day normal school, it does have some classrooms dedicated specifically to Autism students. Cameron is in one of those classes.

A very very big part of the reason for our move is that it has this dichotomy right in one building. He gets the best of both worlds every single day. When he wasn’t ready for it, he stayed in his class. When he is ready, he leaves the classroom to find the other students.

This, we believe, will be extremely advantageous to his development.

Why is it so hard?

How could it be so hard with such a perfect school? Well, the problem is that every child is different. And if there’s one thing that a school requires to function properly, it’s structure. So how do you build structure when each child’s needs are completely different?

Many of the children simply aren’t ready and so, they’ll stay in the safety of their class until they are. Others, such as my son, are ready. But being ready doesn’t mean you can just throw him into a regular class.

Some children are ready to “play next to” other children that are brought to their safe zone (their class room), some children are ready to “play next to” other children in some other class room, some children are ready for limited interaction, some children are ready to actually play together. There’s literally hundreds of ways to measure what a child is and isn’t ready for.

Like all things, it’s something that takes practice, patience and time. Which means introducing the child to other children, having them come to the safe zone, having the child leave the safe zone, having them try to talk, answer questions… and so on and so forth. It’s a slow process.

This sort of thing doesn’t just happen on it’s own though. The child needs supervision… support. This requires a human body that knows him, knows his queues and can recognize when he’s overwhelmed or when he’s doing well.

It also means having a person, or people, for each and every child that is ready plus it requires them to recognize, remember and be an expert at each stage of integration so that they can know the child’s progress and their next step.

This all costs money, it requires an attention to detail, it requires being able to cope and deal with the set backs when the child can’t handle it… it also requires a reporting system so that the school can determine what is and isn’t working and how to improve the system.

It’s a very complicated system that seems so very very simple to us parents because our focus is on one child. For us, who cares what system is in place. Just give our child someone to learn to be social with!

If only it was that simple

Hidden benefit

For me, my son comes first. Both of my boys do and always will. However, a big part of me looks globally, to all people, especially those with Autism.

And to me, integration at a very young age has a much more wide spread benefit and it’s not to our children with Autism. It’s to those children that are being introduced to them. That are being encouraged to be patient with them, to help them and support them.

When I see one or two children my son’s age say hello to him, when I see them take their time and wait for him… when they help him with something he struggles with, to me… that’s global progress. Not just my son, not just those children but for all people.

That’s where acceptance is most powerful… in our youth. If we can have a 5 year old helping a 5 year old, as they get older, it will never even occur to them to think of someone different as weird, bizarre or a freak. The reactions and instincts of their peers and even their own parents before them will have no bearing on these children as they will have grown up with a sense of understanding and acceptance that will dominate any pre-existing notions.

Why is integration needed? Well, it helps my child with Autism learn to be social, learn to communicate effectively and learn to live an independent life along side those that he may never understand but that’s just one benefit to one person.

More so than that, and even more importantly than that, on a much wider scale, it allows his peers to accept him for who he is and to help him when he needs it, rather than to judge or ridicule him.

My son has a great support system. He has so many great people helping him and it comforts me. But it’s when I see one child helping another… that’s when I know my son will be alright.

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