Second annual plea to the Minecraft community to take a stand against bullying on April 2nd

Last year I wrote a plea to the Minecraft community to help those of us in the autism community on April 2nd to take a stand against bullying. I am doing it again this year. Why? Because we still need your help.

The response last year was incredible as many live stream gamers and YouTube video makers spoke up and shared their personal stories and explained to people the effects that bullying has had in their lives. Since then, the media has picked up on what has been going on as well and increased awareness to more than just our little community.

But we’re not done. Every single day on Autcraft (Minecraft community for those with autism and their families) we talk to children that are being bullied at school, bullied on other Minecraft servers and in some cases, they’re even bullied by their own parents that fail to accept that they have autism and the struggles that come with it.

words hurtSome children miss days or even weeks of playing on the server due to the emotional stress and even sometimes due to the physical pain they suffer as a direct result from bullies. Some children come to my server angry having just been on another server where they were tormented and ridiculed… called “retard” and told that they should never have been born or worse, that they should kill themself.

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it. –

It breaks my heart every single time a child asks me for advice and though we talk for hours and they feel better by the end, the truth is, I have no real advice to give. I can’t make the bullying stop. I can’t make that pain go away for them. I know that no matter how I can make them feel in that moment that the next day they will just find themselves being bullied once again.

Almost all children encounter some form of bullying at some point, which in itself is a terrible thing to consider but what’s worse is that those with autism are far more likely to be bullied than anyone else. Not only are they more likely but the amount and type of bullying is often far worse as they are made to feel like they are a burden on society and even their own parents. They’re made to feel like they’re worse than worthless, that they’re a weight on the human condition and are bringing down the world just by existing. They are encouraged to commit suicide. They’re only kids.

Just yesterday, I heard that a 10-year-old in our community took his own life. I sat down and had a long talk with my girls. [My child], who plays on your site and has Asperger syndrome, was bullied so badly by a boy that the boy was given a cease and desist order not to go near her. Something has to change.

– From the mother of a child on Autcraft

Why are those with autism more likely to be targeted or treated this way? Well, because people with autism are inherently different from most people. They struggle to socialize and communicate in the way most people would and are often more prone to extreme emotional outbursts. The truth is, you know as well as I do that all it takes is a tiny spark of being different to make you a target for bullying.

Despite those differences, despite what people and more specifically, those bullies, may think, I see autistics in a very different way. Ever since starting my server, I’ve watched a community grow around a foundation of support, friendship, sharing and compassion. These kids are there for each other, they’re excited to see each other, they support each other in what ever their ambitions are and they work hard and play together better than any community I’ve ever seen before.

If I could open the doors to the world and let people see what I see, I think many people would be very surprised. It’s not at all what most would expect from kids that they think are anti-social, non-communicative introverts. That’s not them at all.

But once they leave my server and visit another server or go back to school or head to the playground… they’re not protected by that strong supportive community anymore and I’m the one that they come back too. Myself and my team on Autcraft, we’re the ones that these kids come too and unload all of their hurt and pain and suffering on. We’re the ones that hear all of the stories that the rest of the world doesn’t… but probably really should.

There is no reason that a child should be limited to just one Minecraft server to play on because of bullies. Children with autism, all children for that matter, should be free to play on the servers that they wish to play on without fear of being told to kill themselves, or to be tormented by griefers, thieves and constant PVP deaths making the game unplayable for them.

The Minecraft community is better than that. I know it is. But only when we speak up and don’t allow those few bad people to do these things. We must speak up. We must make them stop.

These kids can’t suffer in silence anymore. We can’t be afraid to share our stories and to take a stand against this.

Bullying isn’t bullying, it’s abuse, it’s torture, it’s assault. We need to stop pretending it’s not.

Children are dying. Good children, beautiful children.

So please, I’m begging you on behalf of my server and on behalf of the autism community… please take a stand against bullying on April 2nd, Autism Awareness Day.

If you stream live video, if you make YouTube videos, if you just happen to be on a Minecraft server chatting with others, if you blog or vlog… what ever it is you do, on April 2nd, please help me and help us to prevent this abuse and to save real lives.

I can’t do it. But maybe we can do it together if we work together.

From one Minecraft player to another, please help me.

– AutismFather

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We need to stop referring to abuse as bullying and schools need to stop doing nothing about it

Picture this, if you will, as disturbing as it is: A woman sits in a hospital room with a fractured skull, broken jaw and leaking spinal fluid. Everyone knows who her attacker is but no one is doing anything. No arrests. No charges. The attacker is free to do as he pleases.

Make sense?

Well, the truth is that it wasn’t a woman. It was a 12 year old boy with Aspergers and his attacker was an older boy, in grade 8. Because this happened between kids in school and not adults, instead of being abuse, this is just bullying…. “just bullying”.

Wait, he has a fractured skull. He was almost killed. How is this “just bullying” when, if this was a grown man doing this to a grown woman, it would be abuse? or manslaughter? or attempted murder?

You can read about this in the news, although, it’s not easy to watch:

You’d like to think that this is an isolated incident since we don’t read about this in the news every day but it’s not. This happens ALL. THE. TIME.

Let me break some of this down for you.

  • » 64 per cent of kids had been bullied at school.
  • » 12 per cent were bullied regularly (once or more a week).
  • » 13 per cent bullied other students regularly (once or more a week).
  • » 72 per cent observed bullying at school at least once in a while.
  • » 40 per cent tried to intervene.
  • » 64 per cent considered bullying a normal part of school life.
  • » 20-50 per cent said bullying can be a good thing (makes people tougher, is a good way to solve problems, etc.).
  • » 25-33 per cent said bullying is sometimes OK and/or that it is OK to pick on losers.
  • » 61-80 per cent said bullies are often popular and enjoy high status among their peers.

(Source: Centre For Youth Social Development, UBC Faculty of Education)

The core problem here is that bullying is very rarely, if ever, witnessed by a teacher. This means that even as a child is lying in a hospital bed, the only real ‘evidence’ anyone has to go on is a bully’s story versus a victim’s story. The school board “business heads” send a mandate down to the schools telling them that they can do nothing. They can’t make any statements, they can’t hand out any punishments. The most they can do is “investigate” which is to say, ask around and see if anyone else saw anything but none of that circumstantial hear-say really holds any weight either way anyway.

And so this becomes school yard bullying. A “normal part of school life” where both victims and the parents of the victims are powerless to stop or prevent it.

This is very similar to another phenomenon happening within hospitals around the world where doctors are having their hands tied while their administrators are forced to make decisions based on funding and stature. For example, several times in the past we’ve seen doctors refuse to do life saving procedures on good people with special needs based solely on the fact that they do have special needs and therefore, do not merit having their life saved versus someone else that might need the same procedure and does not have “anything wrong with them.”

Don’t believe that happens? I’ve written about it before.

A teacher that does nothing to stop bullying because of the rules from their administrators is in the exact same position as a doctor that does nothing to help save someone’s life because of their administrators. I don’t blame them… sort of.

Still though, I’m reminded of something that John Stuart Mill once said:

Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.

I sit and watch as parent after parent on social media cries out for justice, that the bully be charged, expelled or much much worse. (“if it was my child that he did that too…“)
But nothing is done. Nothing will be done. Schools will continue to sit on their hands, unable to make statements, unable to stop it.

To the teachers, counsellors, principals and everyone else involved at the school level, please help us.

I get it. The administrators sitting at the top, they won’t let you do anything. But I’m calling on you to do something anyway.
This has to stop. Now.
And the schools are holding all the cards to do that.

Until the schools all step up to do something more than assemblies or “anti-bullying awareness campaigns”, this will continue to get worse and worse.

Maybe the school board tells you no. Maybe you will get fired for it.
But do something anyway. Because the next child to fall victim might be yours.

If the person that did the bullying is not to be blamed, then surely those that stood around and did nothing about it are.

When it’s a man and a woman and even when it’s a man and another man, this is abuse. But when it’s two children, it’s bullying.
We must stop looking at this way. Abuse is abuse. A human life is a human life. Let’s stop trying to make it sound like it’s not important just because it’s between children.

If a teacher can’t get away with breaking the skull of another teacher without consequences then a student should not be able to do it to another student.

Stop saying “just bullying” and let’s call it what it is. Abuse.
And let’s start treating it as such.


For more heart breaking statistics and information, please visit

Einstein Quote

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The question I asked my son every day of his life until I needed him to ask it of me

What do you do when you fall downRecently life has been, we shall say, unkind. People who would steal from me, people that would try to hurt me, stresses greater than any I’ve felt before, illness and immense pressure. I find myself in the greatest financial burden that I’ve ever been in all the while outside forces conspire to make it even worse for me.

To say it’s been rough would be the greatest of understatements.

Late one night, unable to sleep, I found myself reading back through some of my old writings when I happened upon a question. A question that I used to ask my son every single day of his life. I remembered how he would sometimes answer in a frustrated tone, as if this was starting to become an annoyance for him. But I continued to ask him. It was important. I needed this question to be a part of his very core. Always.

I had forgotten about it. How did I forget? When did I stop asking? How did this happen? How long has it been since I asked him? I don’t know.

“What do you do when you fall down?” He’d answer “You get back up.”

I found this in my writings because one time, just once, his answer was different. He said “You get back up. You never give up.” I wrote about that. It was the first time that he included that second part, to show me that he really got it. He knew that I didn’t mean to literally fall down. He knew the wider scope. He knew.

But I stopped. I forgot. I didn’t even notice.

At the time I thought that I was repeating this very frustrating, annoyance of a reminder through out his life because I thought he needed that constant reminder. I thought that one day he might forget and that I’d be the one to be there to remind him. I thought that if I said it often enough, he wouldn’t even need a reminder.

But I stopped. I forgot.

I realize now that I wasn’t just telling him to remind him. I was the one that needed reminding. And I stopped. I forgot.

What do you do when you fall down?

You get back up.

Thanks for reminding me son.

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5 Things I wish I knew before Autism

Tamara Wood is a proud mother of two amazing boys. After searching for a solution for her son Alex, who is affected by Autism, Tamara found the AngelSense solution for her family. It gave her a great deal of peace of mind, and her enthusiasm for the company only increased – she joined the AngelSense team as a customer care specialist.

tamara's familyI am the mother to two wonderful little boys, one who has autism and one who is “normal” (whatever that is!). There are many things we didn’t know before we became parents, and even less when you hear a word like “autism.” There are somethings I wish I had known before my son was born, and I wish I could share them with every parent out there.



Before autism, the most I cared to know – or needed to know – about insurance was copay, deductible, out-of-pocket, yada, yada, yada… I wish I had known all of the loopholes and red tape that can make your head spin concerning HPCPS and ICD-9 codes and all of those neat little “tricks” that you should really do to make your life easier. Like keeping track of who I spoke to and that gosh darnit they did say that! – this is more than just a good idea, it is crucial people! Or how a medical/insurance journal with a history of therapies, doctors, important health info, and bills is beyond just being organized; it is a savior of brain cells at those times when my brain hurts on marathon phone call days.


I wish I had known that I was going to be learning another language for school/therapy. ARD, AU, IEP, BIP, AT, ESY, LRE, OT, PT, ST, etc., just to name a few. Now these acronyms have been a part of our lives for almost 7 years and just slip off the tongue, but boy, can those ARD meetings be confusing when they are literally speaking a different language.

The AUsomeness of the autism community

I wish I had known going in that I was going to be a part of a very special group of families that are so free with advice, support, resources, and all around laughs to help you through. I can’t express how much of a release it is to talk to others that understand and can find the humor in our daily lives. Swapping public meltdown stories, how talented my son is at finger painting his whole room at 3am (that smell is not funny at 3am), and just being able to relax with others who “get it” is very important.


I wish I had known that the definition of romance was going to change. Finding an experienced sitter, having money, having time, and honestly just having the energy are just some of the factors. Romance in our house is my husband doing the dishes for me, helping each other clean up the 3am finger painting, being an eternal tag team for when the other has just had too much, and dates that are only retreating to another room to sit and watch TV because we just don’t have the energy to do much else. And finding that this can be enough.

The Box

I wish that I had known that thinking outside of the box was going to actually be the only way of thinking from then on. Our life is the equivalent of having a beautiful boy with the curiosity and development of a toddler and the physical ability of a 10 year old – for the past 8 years. This makes thinking about safety (and sanity) a very big part of our lives. Going out to eat, planning a date, going to the store, holidays, and even just rearranging the furniture require quite a bit of resourcefulness and thinking outside the box.

It has been a rough road at times, but I can’t imagine our lives any differently and I wouldn’t trade our kids for anything – we love them just the way they are. The autism community has brought me something else – recently, I have been blessed to be able to work from home in order to take care of him. And I am doubly blessed to be able to work for AngelSense, a company that helps us keep him safe by knowing where he is at all times and being able to listen to him throughout his day.

Founded by parents of special needs children, and employing other special needs’ parents, AngelSense provides so much peace of mind in so many ways. With the Guardian GPS device I can monitor my son through out his day, when he is out of our sight. I can check on him from my smartphone or the computer, and make sure he’s where I want him to be! Working for a company that understands me and my family has been just another example of the wonderful way we all support each other. I know so much now and hope that sharing my experience helps someone who might feel alone today.

Visit AngelSense at:


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If I could could suggest just one New Years resolution, it would be this

resolutionsI know this is a bit late but there are still some people out there that are unsure of what they should “resolve” to do for the new year.

Well, Autcraft, my Minecraft server for children with autism and their families has been receiving some media coverage in recent weeks and there was one question that I got from everyone that really stands out as very important and thus, would make for the perfect New Years resolution: “What is it about Autcraft that is helping these kids to make friends, to talk to other people, to learn to read/write faster and to make such great progress in such little time?

The answer? Be less afraid.

On the server, we remove the risk of bullying but it’s more than that. The children there all have a lot of similarities and know what it feels like to be judged or bullied or hurt, so they don’t do that to each other. They welcome each other’s obsessions and ideas and if they do disagree, they do it in a way so as to not upset each other. This allows them all to feel unafraid to express themselves and even make mistakes.

I’d like to break this down into a New Years Resolution sort of way to look at it.

Be less afraid to be embarrassed

One of the biggest fears many of us have is the fear of embarrassment. We don’t want anyone to laugh at us or to think we’re stupid and so we either take the safest path or just do nothing at all in order to avoid that risk. However, when you watch some of the greatest comedians ever, their greatest asset is… embarrassment! They get as silly as they need to be in order to entertain us and to laugh… not to laugh at them, but to laugh because they want us to laugh.

So how do you be less afraid to be embarrassed? You own it. If you slip and fall or make a mistake, you laugh first and then you tell others about the crazy thing you did. When you own it, it’s your joke and it’s your tool to do with as you wish. How can anyone ever make fun of you when you own the tool they’re trying to use? That’s what the comedians did. They took something that they should have been afraid of and they took ownership of it. Once you do that, you’ll be less afraid to do it in the future.

Be less afraid to be yourself

This is the hard one because everyone likely wants you to do what they consider normal or what society expects of you. Now granted, if killing everyone is how you think you are, then this doesn’t apply to you. But thinking differently from the rest of the world is how great inventors change the world or how scientists make sense of the universe. If you stick to the previous point (less afraid to be embarrassed) than this should actually be an easy one for you. Being yourself, as wacky or silly or quiet or what ever you want to be might not be huge world changers but it will change your world. It will change for the absolute better.

When you be yourself and others are able to be themselves, that’s when you truly do find people that you have a lot in common with. That’s when you start making real friends because now you’re being open and honest with someone. Many friendships that I see are based on lies or huge compromises and even sometimes, I wouldn’t really call them friends. But if you are yourself and your friend is too and you like each other, there’s no greater friendship than that because you are both being honest with each other and yourselves.

Be less afraid to hurt yourself

I admit it, I really don’t want to hurt myself. Pain, it’s no fun. But when I think about the athletes at the Olympics or sports professionals, I know that they’ve done their fair share of hurting. In fact, when they say that they’ve been working at their sport every day of their life to get better, that’s not true. Because you can be absolutely certain that every single one of them has had some down time due to an injury.

They aren’t afraid to hurt themselves because they know that it’s one of those things that has to happen if they’re going to be the best some day. No one gets through life without some scratches and scrapes so you might as well stop trying to avoid it. Luckily though, our wondrous and amazing bodies are remarkably capable of healing. So unless you really do some damage, you’ll likely be back up and at it pretty quick.

Yes, no one wants to be hurt and that’s why we do everything in our power to ensure that doesn’t happen but it also should not be a reason to stop us. Take the safety precautions, think of everything that could go wrong and take measure to prevent them… and then do it. Yeah, you still might get hurt but then again, you still might end up being the best some day.

Be less afraid to hurt

No, this isn’t the same as the last point. Pain and hurting are often two different things. For example, many people, when they hurt themselves, they feel both pain and hurt… the pain from injury but also the hurt from the failure.

Hurt comes in many forms such as disappointment, depression, anger and then there are others such as when you lose a friend. But if we’re so afraid of these things that we avoid them then that means that we avoid doing things that could disappoint us or depress us or anger us… it means avoiding friendships. There’s a lot that we really should not be missing out on and certainly not because they might hurt.

Like all things, it’s going to happen but also, they’re going to require practice. No one knows how to be a great friend at first and no one knows how to do everything so perfect that they never get angry or disappoint themselves. You have to work at all these things and push through the hurt before you can conquer these things. And chances are, if you want them that bad, they’re worth it.

Also, the biggest difference between hurting yourself and feeling hurt is that one, anyone can do to you and the other you can only do to yourself.

Be less afraid to tell someone that you appreciate them

So often I am reminded that a job well done proceeds quietly, it’s only when everyone wants to contact you that you realize something is wrong.

What we really need more of in this world is for people to simply say, “you did a great job!” But this is something that many of us fear. For what ever reason, between these two emotions, it’s far easier to be angry with someone directly to their face than to be proud of them and tell them they did well. I suspect it has something to do with those awkward feelings from back in high school where, as teens, we were afraid to tell the other kid that we liked them. Something from that sticks with us and, as adults, we become afraid to tell someone we like what they did. Or maybe we just feel it’s unimportant because they’re doing their job.. what more do they need?

I don’t really know why it is but I see people actually shying away and saying no when others tell them that they should commend someone for a job well done. They are quite literally afraid to do it even though they would love for someone else to do that for them when ever they do a good job themselves.

All the other points are for you but for this one, do it for others. Be less afraid to give someone a pat on the back if they deserve it. It could really change that person’s who day… maybe even life. That’s pretty cool, right?

Be less afraid to take risks

Yes, this last one is rather cliche by now. We’ve all heard it. But the truth is that life really is short, only we don’t tend to realize that until later in life when we look back with regret. We think of all the times we didn’t do that we really wanted to do because we were afraid. It’s at this point we lower our eyes to the ground and realize that it was foolish to be so afraid. It was foolish to miss that opportunity for nothing because by the time we recognize all this… it’s too late.

We don’t have time machines and no one will truly be able to describe this feeling to you accurately while you’re young but there has to be some way to convince yourself that if you don’t take that risk now to do what you really want to do, one day it’ll be too late. You’ll have that regret to live with.

While that fear feels all too real right now, while right now, it paralyzes you and controls you… one day a much older you will think that it was nothing. You froze, for nothing. And you missed your chance, for nothing. And you’ll never get it back.

Don’t let fear rob you of moments. Those moments add up to your life. If you miss too many of them…

Like the children on that Minecraft server, be less afraid and you too will be amazed at the progress that comes from it.

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