Tag Archives | special

If my child was a flower

glowing flowerIf my child was a flower… would he realize that he was different from the other flowers?

Would he know that he looked the same and yet didn’t fit in with the rest? Would he know that his scent was a little different from the others, that he was a little less vibrant, a little less tall and sturdy?

Would he know that even though he’s mostly the same that he’s different enough for some people to think he’s a weed?

If my child was a flower… would he wish that he could be in a flower pot by himself? Would he wish that he the other flowers didn’t seem so foreign to him?

Would he question the soil in which he lives? Would he question whether or not his water is different? Would he blame the sun?

If my child was a flower… would he hate being stuck where he is? Mixed in among the rest of the flowers, invisible yet obviously different.

Would he know that he’ll be the last one picked? Would he know that most of the other flowers don’t want him there?

Would he care?

If my child was a flower… he’d be the only flower in the group with a hidden element, a special property… the one compound that could be harvested and made into a healing agent. He’d be the only flower in the group that could help the blind to see, help the unloved to feel loved… to help the lost be found.

Will he ever be given the opportunity? Will someone love him enough to discover what is hidden deep within him?

If my child was a flower… he would be a very special flower indeed.

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My son likes the good guys, but he just loves Rudolph and Dumbo

If you ask my son what his favourite characters are, he’d likely tell you about Mario, Woody, Buzz Lightyear and maybe even Mickey Mouse. Those are the ones he watches most often and really likes to pretend to be because they have bad guys to beat. They have someone to who’s always trying to stop them and no matter what, they have to be better than the bad guys.

Dumbo and Rudolph

Dumbo and Rudolph

Still, you’ll never see him sit with such a wide eye smile and sense of pride as when he watches movies like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer or Dumbo (the flying elephant).

You see, my son is 5 years old and even though he has Autism, he doesn’t really think of himself as different, like Rudolph or Dumbo would. He goes to a special school that has normal kids on the main floor and children with Autism on the bottom floor. He has other children with Autism around him, he has teachers and helpers with him the entire time and he has never even experienced bullying or teasing.

To him, he’s just another average boy doing average things and well, pretending to be Buzz Lightyear fighting off the evil Zurg (usually played by his little brother).

I tell you this because I often try to rationalize, to myself, why it would be that he’d identify with Rudolph and Dumbo so much. Don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t talk about them too much after the initial hour or two immediately following the movie but just the way he talks about them, the look he has… the way he remembered the details after the very first time he saw them… this was so different than most movie’s he’s watched.

So if it’s not that he feels different and can relate to them, then what is it?

Well, maybe he just sees it in me… I don’t have a mirror but I’m willing to bet that I exude some sense of pride in my own inner need to relate them. To think of my son as the one that could save Christmas or become the star of the circus if he just believes in himself. Maybe he feeds off my energy.

Perhaps it’s just that he likes those types of stories, he wouldn’t be the first. I mean, they are classics for a reason. It’s certainly not unheard of that a child, or even an adult, would like the underdog stories for the sake of how good you feel at the end, when it turns out that they’re not just different, they’re special.

Or, as has been proven to me time and time again, maybe he realizes far more than I suspect he does. Maybe he does recognize his differences from his many family gatherings, trips to see other children and so forth. Maybe he realizes that when we tell him that some foods will “bo bo his tummy”, that he is likely one of very very few, maybe even the only (in his mind) person who can’t eat those things.

I don’t want to get into the topic of when to tell your child they are different or that they have Autism, that’s for another post as I’m not yet at that stage but, I do still wonder just how much he really knows.

I never dismiss anything because I never underestimate him. He’s my Rudolph. He’s my Dumbo. No matter what anyone thinks, I believe that he can accomplish anything that anyone else can and more… I’ll never stop believing it.

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