One of, if not the, most positive people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting is a pink haired, very flamboyant man named John “Halcyon” Styn. In the time I had known him, or known of him, he had never been involved in any drama, he never seemed to be where problems were or bad things were going down… he just always seemed to have a smile and was always happy to see you. Even if you’ve never met him before.
Recently, he gave a TED talk. If you have never heard of TED talks, I highly suggest you take some time and sit and watch some. The top minds in the world give short talks that will forever change your perspective on life.
John’s talk is one that may do just that for you as well.
It’s less than 17 minutes (which in the world of autism parenting is a LONG TIME) but I ask that you set aside the time today to watch this. It’s important. Honest.
And when you’re done, continue on reading below the video.
The entire discussion is so powerful and there really is a lot to take in but my focus, right now, is on one very important aspect of life; you have to ask yourself, “crap or cone?”
Essentially, you can focus on the crap and spend all your time thinking about it, talking about it, living in it… or you can focus on the cone and cherish it, enjoy it, share it with others.
What it comes down to is, both methods will get you results. But one might get you the results you want while the other will likely get you the results you want so desperately to avoid.
To put it another way, if you are always seeking the positives in everything… eventually that’s what you will find. But the same is true of the negatives.
And it’s hard to do. It’s so very hard to do when the deck seems stacked against you. When things just seem to keep going from bad to worse. That’s true of anyone and even more so when autism or other disorders or disabilities are involved.
But the same principle holds true. In fact, I’d argue that it’s even more true.
Autism can be hard… very very hard. I won’t deny that.
But that still doesn’t change the fact that what you decide to focus on will dictate how much enjoyment you have out of life. It will determine what your life will look like when you look back on it years from now.
Here’s a hint: when that day comes, when you think back on all of what your life once was, if you had focused on the crap, you’ll remember the diagnosis, the therapy, the schedules, the chaos, etc but if you focus on the cone, you’ll remember the child.
It’s easy to forget that it’s within our power to make that decision, especially when things seem so out of our control. But we do.
It’s a choice.
It’s your choice.
What will be your focus?
Crap or cone?