My own little world – Important place to be but don’t get lost there

The phrase “own little world” is often used to indicate ignorance, that a person has no idea what is going on in the world outside of their own life.

I like to think of it more as an indicator as to what is important. You see, what ever is happening in my own little world has the utmost importance to me. It’s what I know best, it’s what I care for most and it’s what is most important to me.

There’s nothing wrong with your own little world, everyone has one and everyone should be proud of theirs.

My own little world

our own little worldFor me, my own little world consists of myself, my wife, my children and my pets… that’s it. That’s what I know better than anyone else, it’s what is more important to me than anything else and it’s what brings me the most joy.

For some people, it might be only their children, only their spouse… it may be just themselves, if they are focusing on their own happiness before starting or without having a family.

You protect your own little world even if it means getting a little bloody because there’s nothing more important in the whole world.. than your own little world.

But…

Don’t forget there is a bigger world out there

I find that, especially when it comes to parenting, and 10 fold more when it comes to Autism, people easily get lost in their own little world.. and when they step out and look around, they forget that things are different out there.

I know I’m not telling you anything that you don’t already know, but we all need reminders sometimes. Hear me out for a minute…

We Autism parents write about our experiences and sometimes, when we’re lucky, we write something that you can relate to.  However, the very nature of Autism, as we all know, is that the experience is different for everyone.

This presents a very interesting problem…  we write about our own little world, which doesn’t match up with other people’s little worlds… there are two possible outcomes:

  1. One or both parties recognizes that their own little world is different, accepts that fact and either does not comment or does comment, stating how their own experience differs
  2. One or both parties denies the existence of the other person’s little world, proclaiming that they are liars, misguided, ignorant or just plain wrong and that they are doing a great disservice to the entire world (which I’m assuming is their reference to their own little world but we both know it isn’t)

More often than not, I see #2 all over other people’s blogs. (pun intended)

Take a deep breath

The problem with this is that it requires both parties to remember and recognize the “my own little world” phenomenon and take a deep breath, relax and accept that we all have different experiences with differing opinions.

Not just both parties, but many many parties… the more popular a blog becomes, the more that little worlds come into contact with it… some of them collide.

Just this morning I tweeted: Autism is like a rainbow; it has a brighter side & a darker side, every shade is important & beautiful and it hides something golden.

To which, one angry parent was rather mad that I’d call it a rainbow (I didn’t, it’s a comparison), proceeded to remind me that Autism is a serious disability and that “fluff” like that doesn’t help those who suffer from Autism.

He didn’t take a deep breath.

He completely skipped the “darker side” reference as well as the part that says that it “hides something golden”. I mean, yes… I’ll admit to the “fluff” but it’s not all peaches and cream either. I felt it rather adequately expressed the darker points… the “suffering.”

Anyway, as I said, he didn’t take a deep breath, instead acting instinctively to attack me for not telling his story… for not telling everyone about his own little world.

However, that’s not my place. I can’t tell other people’s stories for them.

And so…. I take a deep breath, and I remember that his own little world is what he knows and is what is more important to him. In his way, he’s protecting that.

My own little world is different. I can accept that.

And when I read about his experiences and his story… I’ll remember to respect that his own little world is vastly different than my own.

Please keep in mind that, what you experience in your own little world, might not be what someone else experiences. Their story is completely different. They share their story, not to fight with you, but to show you just how different things can be… and maybe, sometimes, just how much the same they can be too.

Take a deep breath. Your own little world is not threatened by others sharing their own story. Your own little world is still your own, you still know it better than anyone… and most of all, it doesn’t mean that anyone thinks you are ignorant of what’s going on outside of your own little world. At least, it shouldn’t.

Just take a deep breath. In fact… you should rejoice that no one else’s little world is the same as yours. If it was, it wouldn’t be your own.

About Stuart Duncan

My name is Stuart Duncan, creator of http://www.stuartduncan.name. My oldest son (Cameron) has Autism while my younger son (Tyler) does not. I am a work from home web developer with a background in radio. I do my very best to stay educated and do what ever is necessary to ensure my children have the tools they need to thrive. I share my stories and experiences in an effort to further grow and strengthen the online Autism community and to promote Autism Understanding and Acceptance.

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6 Responses to My own little world – Important place to be but don’t get lost there

  1. Sabrina September 8, 2011 at 2:46 pm #

    I’m so lost right now in my own little world.. I’m starting to see I have to start thinking on 2012 preschool for my kid and I will be the one in the waiting lists if I don’t move soon. :S.

    Seriously I’m so lost there right now, Found a comfort zone and didn’t want to move for a while, but I know I have to take a deep breath and open the door..

  2. Heather F. September 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    What a GREAT perspective!!!! I think that parents always need to keep this mind whether they have a child with special needs or not! I really enjoy reading your blog (via facebook-Autism Acceptance and Understanding). Thank you for being able to be the one that takes the deep breath and stays calm!

  3. Pam Grace September 8, 2011 at 3:26 pm #

    A very nicely done piece about something we’re all experiencing but not necessarily talking about. I’ve noticed that parents of children with autism tend to either band together or judge each other mercilessly – as if we really needed to feel like more people were judging us!

  4. Angel G September 8, 2011 at 3:59 pm #

    I see it often … and not just with autism parents.

    It’s a sad thing when people cannot agree to disagree.

    And it’s a rare thing when you can debate an issue with someone without it becoming a personal grudge match.

    So, here’s my little rule of thumb – if I don’t agree with another blogger’s post, then I just won’t comment.

    As usual, Stuart, great post!!!

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