Let me tell you a little about celebrating Autism

When I tell the average person that my son has Autism, they feel really bad for me. The fact is that there is a lot to celebrate.

Milestones are an achievement, not just an item on a list

When you have a child with Autism, you learn to appreciate the milestones, both big and small. Some would say that we celebrate a little too much for such little accomplishments but I’d argue that we celebrate accordingly, it’s other parents who take them for granted.

First words, learning to walk, swimming, riding a bike, reading, writing… all these things that make parents proud are far more than just steps along the way when your child has Autism… they’re cause for celebration.

Take nothing for granted

Along the same lines, but very different from milestones, is taking nothing for granted. Unless you have a child with Autism (or another disability like it), you’ll probably never know what it’s like to be lucky enough to be hugged one time a year.

Does your child look you in the eye? If your child has Autism, maybe not. Does your child give you a hug or kiss sometimes? If your child has Autism, maybe not.

You will never ever realize just how much the tiniest little things can be so extremely important until they’re not there.

Patience, more than you ever thought possible

The biggest problem with milestones is that everyone knows what they are and when they should happen so when your child is missing them, everyone says something. It’s hard, it’s oh so very hard.

After a while though, you develop a thicker skin… not just the patience required to take their “advice” a little better but also to have the patience and self confidence in knowing that if you never give up on your children, the milestones will come.

The beauty that is around us

The world around us moves pretty fast and can be so filled with sights and sounds that it turns into a bit of a blurry mess. Our mind makes it that way to keep us from becoming overwhelmed, crazy and tired. We filter through a lot of everything that goes on in our daily lives without really realizing it.

Many people, especially the children, with Autism don’t have the same filtering capabilities and often times do get overwhelmed by it all. This often results in meltdowns or even violence.

You, as the parent, become increasingly aware of the world around you because you have to, because you need to know what you are getting your child into. Loud restaurants, carnivals, movie theaters… many many places can be far too difficult for your child to be able to process and you need to be aware of that before the fact.

As you develop this ability over time, it forces you to slow down and truly appreciate the sights and smells and sounds that surround us every single day.

You go outside and there isn’t a car in the neighborhood… it’s so very peaceful. Before you likely never would have noticed, much less enjoyed that feeling of peace, because your mind builds that filter in place before you ever go out and so you don’t notice if there are cars or not.

Your child is perfect because of who they are

It isn’t until others see your child as flawed, and worse, until you start to see your own child as flawed, that you can learn what is truly important… not a disability, not a disorder, not even a gift… a child is who they are inside and who they are inside is exactly who they are supposed to be… your child.

It’s ok if no one will ever look at your child the same way you do, they’re not supposed to. Our children are amazing human beings with unlimited potential.

The difference

Celebrate the differences, not just in your child, but in yourself. For better or worse, you’ve become a better person for it, you’ve become a better parent.  Your child isn’t like other children… and that seems hard to take but honestly, before your child was born, and you saw how “other children” are on the news or in movies… is that really what you wished for when you imagined having a child? For them to be like all the others?

No, none of us want our children to have it harder than anyone else, and no we don’t want our children to suffer… but many of us recognize that we can have these thoughts and these feelings while still being able to recognize and celebrate the differences.

Your child is amazing. You are amazing. Celebrate it… you’ve earned it.

About Stuart Duncan

My name is Stuart Duncan, creator of http://www.stuartduncan.name. My oldest son (Cameron) has Autism while my younger son (Tyler) does not. I am a work from home web developer with a background in radio. I do my very best to stay educated and do what ever is necessary to ensure my children have the tools they need to thrive. I share my stories and experiences in an effort to further grow and strengthen the online Autism community and to promote Autism Understanding and Acceptance.

, , , ,

7 Responses to Let me tell you a little about celebrating Autism

  1. Heather February 13, 2011 at 12:00 pm #

    I have always said that I appreciate Brian’s milestones so much more- sure we may have to wait a bit longer for some of them, but it only makes each little step that more special 🙂

  2. The Domestic Goddess February 13, 2011 at 3:38 pm #

    I celebrate every single day, every step of the way. I know there are folks who don’t choose to look at it that way, and that’s fine with me, but in our life we prefer to look at the positives. We would not be the people we are today, the parents we are today, if not for autism. It makes us better people.

    Thanks for sharing this!

  3. Sharon Lee February 14, 2011 at 2:25 am #

    Thanks again for reminding us what makes our kids so special. Our family makes a big deal out of every small achievement, and Lucas’ autism has also helped me put a lot into perspective. Another thing I am so thankful for is that at 14, Lucas still wants to hold my hand everytime we go out.

  4. Linda Hodgdon February 14, 2011 at 9:30 pm #

    You have a wonderful tender heart for your son. That is his blessing.
    Thank you for sharing.

  5. Gina @ Special Happens February 19, 2011 at 8:11 pm #

    I think all too often we / others get caught up in the challenges our children (and adults) face just making it through life with autism, that we forget the achievements…and yet, they are the most important for us to pay attention to.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. 10 Things I Might Have Missed If It Weren’t For Autism | Special Happens - February 22, 2011

    […] read this post by Stuart Duncan. It got me thinking not only of how we have blocked things out but how we’ve […]

  2. 10 Things I Might Have Missed If It Weren't For Autism | - September 10, 2012

    […] read this post by Stuart Duncan. It got me thinking not only of how we have blocked things out but how we’ve […]

Leave a Reply