If I had Autism

questionsAs I see parents writing articles on what Autism is, or how to describe it, I wonder how many of those people ever asked themselves what it would be like if they had Autism themselves.

Have you thought about it?

I have.

These are just some of the questions I asked myself:

  • Would I see the sounds I hear?
  • Would it be beautiful? Would it be painful?
  • Would I feel the ridges of my finger prints when I rub my hands together?
  • Would I feel anything at all?
  • Would people expect me to have special skills?
  • Would people expect me to have no skills at all?
  • Would I speak the same language as everyone yet still not understand anyone?
  • Would I be unable to speak any language but understand everyone perfectly well?
  • Would I require constant control over myself and my environment?
  • Would I lose control easily?
  • Would I really need hugs?
  • Would I really not want to be hugged?
  • Would I notice the flicker of a fluorescent light?
  • Would I not notice the dangers all around me?
  • Will I be loved for who I am?
  • Will I be hated for who I’m not?

Even though some of these pairs seem like opposites from each other, would I still answer yes to both? Would my answers change from day to day?

Would I be able to explain these things to other people? Would I want to?

Would I be me? Would I be less than me? Would I be more?

There’s so many more questions…. I quickly find myself becoming overwhelmed by it all but strangely, as much as I’ve thought about this a lot, it never really hit me like this until I asked myself…

If I had Autism…

About Stuart Duncan

My name is Stuart Duncan, creator of http://www.stuartduncan.name. My oldest son (Cameron) has Autism while my younger son (Tyler) does not. I am a work from home web developer with a background in radio. I do my very best to stay educated and do what ever is necessary to ensure my children have the tools they need to thrive. I share my stories and experiences in an effort to further grow and strengthen the online Autism community and to promote Autism Understanding and Acceptance.

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3 Responses to If I had Autism

  1. sidther August 23, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    I loved this! My personal answers…
    not usually, painful,
    yes and it is irritating,
    yes they do and then after a few minutes they lose any interest in figuring out if you really do or if it was just the excitement of a first encounter,
    yes and you would usually be misunderstood,
    not sure,
    yes control is essential, only sometimes,
    yes but they must be firm but not tight, at times,
    every time I see one, no just be slow to react,
    only by a few, yes by many.

    Yes the answers change because both can be true.
    Not verbally, desperately.

    More myself at home, less around others as I must be who they want.

  2. gingerheaddad August 23, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

    Stuart, this is an amazing post. I can’t recall reading something that so simply and elegantly asks if we can imagine being in our children’s shoes.

  3. outoutout August 23, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

    To ponder what life would be like if we were something we’re not is always an interesting hypothetical path. At least you’re willing to ask the question… too many simply won’t consider any viewpoint other than their own.

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