Do you Love Autism or Hate Autism?

I have talked to quite a few people with Autism (usually more specifically Aspergers) that really love having Autism and the benefits that come with it. Although, I’ve also talked to others who absolutely detest Autism in all shapes and forms. These are usually people that do not have Autism but do have a loved one with very severe Autism, more times than not, it’s their child.

I don’t want to generalize too much, it’s just an observation. However, love and hate are two pretty intense emotions and when focused on a single subject, this can usually lead to animosity or hostility.

The more I got to thinking about it, the more I started to get hostile myself, not at either group of people but at the need to push their love or hate onto each other.

It ultimately resulted in me tweeting this: “Autism is not your sword to wield as a weapon nor for you to fall on. Love it or hate it, don’t tell others how to feel.”

I feel it’s important to share our accomplishments and our disappointments, our pride and our sorrow… but it’s very hard for someone that hates everything to do with Autism to watch someone with Autism themselves go on and on about how much they love it and how wonderful it is. Conversely, it’s very hard for someone who is very proud of their Autism to go on speaking very harshly about how life destroying it is.

I would like to suggest that you either accept their stance as their circumstances are very different from yours or politely ignore/unfollow/unfriend/leave that person and continue on with what you’re doing and let them continue on with what they’re doing.

In a perfect world, we all support each other. But sometimes we just can’t… and that’s ok. But we really don’t need to replace support with fighting. Love it or hate it, we’re all on the same side, I think.

I invite you to share, but not fight…  do you love Autism or do you hate Autism?

About Stuart Duncan

My name is Stuart Duncan, creator of My oldest son (Cameron) has Autism while my younger son (Tyler) does not. I am a work from home web developer with a background in radio. I do my very best to stay educated and do what ever is necessary to ensure my children have the tools they need to thrive. I share my stories and experiences in an effort to further grow and strengthen the online Autism community and to promote Autism Understanding and Acceptance.

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4 Responses to Do you Love Autism or Hate Autism?

  1. Big Daddy August 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm #


  2. Springingtiger August 23, 2010 at 9:33 pm #

    There are days when I find AS very inconvenient but hating it would be as futile as hating my skin or eye colour. Overall I enjoy who I am. Life might be easier without autism but neither it nor I would be as interesting.

  3. Corina Becker August 23, 2010 at 9:37 pm #

    I can sort of see both sides. On one side, are the people who are looking at what autism has given them, and considers those as gifts worth the struggle and difficulties they have.

    On the other side are the people who see autism as what it has “taken away” from a person’s life or as being the struggle.

    In a way, both are right.

    From my perspective, autism is a spectrum of a type of neurological wiring. It has its strengths, or gifts, and it has its weaknesses, or disabilities.

    I guess it becomes a matter of perspective, of whether a person thinks that the strengths are worth having the weaknesses, or that they see a future with autism. Also, possibly how one defines autism, as either being both, or one or the other.

    I don’t doubt that a person who defines autism as nothing but the disability would hate it. I also think that a person who defines autism as only the certain strengths loves it and actually becomes convinced of its superiority.

    While I understand the experiences that lead to these perspectives, I think that judging autism that way ignores the wide range of experiences.
    I won’t tell people what to think or feel, but I would ask that people try to understand each other’s experiences and viewpoints so that we can reach a mutual understanding and work together.

  4. outoutout August 24, 2010 at 12:38 am #


    To me, this issue is a bit more complex than “love vs hate”.

    I think we can all agree that no one can tell anyone else how they should feel in any given situation. However, I begin to have a problem when certain feelings lead to the advocacy of either superiority or eradication. I begin to have a problem when people are so entrenched in their own beliefs that they can’t even have a rational discussion about the differences.

    Corina is right. The key is being open to understanding each other. Easier said than done when emotions are running SO high, but… there ya go.

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